Getting the Most Time Out of My Life
“Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.” -Karl Lagerfeld
As women, we are so accustomed to putting everyone else's needs above our own but what divorce taught me is you have to put yourself first at some point in order to maintain sanity. I had to make sure that as a business owner and mom, my foundation is stable because without me, my son and employees will suffer. There came a point when Maslow’s hierarchy of needs was knocking at my door- I needed to do an inventory of myself.
The process involved taking time to list all of the things I was involved in. I realized from that exercise that I was overcommitted and not doing a kick ass job on anything. I wanted to be a rock star but the reality was I needed to step back from my many volunteer activities and reallocate my time. My top priority needed to be my son’s happiness and well being through the divorce process.
It meant living with intentionality not just going through the motions, trying to keep my head above water. Through intentional effort, it was planning and going on fun adventures and making sure that my son and I spent as much time laughing and hugging as possible.
Dorian, who was 2 at the time, went through a phase when he wanted “happy cake” every day. I found a recipe for a cake in a mug and we would make it together, grab a candle and sing happy birthday. Seeing his smile gave me strength and lessened the guilt of not being involved in as much outside the home.
It has been almost two years since I have volunteered and although I miss that kind of involvement in the community I know that I am only capable of so much. There is no use in overcommitting myself.
Takeaway: The key here is taking some time to analyze your time commitments and assign then into categories: keep, maybe, toss.
By doing this, you are making a conscious effort to balance your needs with the rest of your commitments.
Be open and honest about what can be handled and communicate your decision to others.
Don’t feel like you’re letting anyone down! You are doing what is best for you and no one else can do that for you.
It is your time- use it to make you happy!
A link to a personal inventory worksheet: