"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." -Marilyn Monroe
It was a beautiful, sunny day in Maine. Dorian and I were playing in the water when the silence was broken. It is a question I feared- "Mom, why is Daddy your ex? Why isn't he your husband anymore?"
My heart sank and my mind started racing! Here I am enjoying the water, focused on having fun and his little mind is processing our failed marriage. I knew I couldn't dodge such a direct question and I started to wonder what my ex has told him.
I started to beat myself up! It was on my mental to-do list, albeit down at the bottom! Scheduling a time to sit down with my ex and discuss age appropriate responses to why we got divorced.
Although both of us are so much happier now, I knew it would be painful to revisit the reasons why we divorced. But I'm kicking myself for not just doing it so when I was ambushed I could respond with confidence in my voice.
Instead, I said a quick prayer, took a deep breath and said, "Well bud, we didn't get along anymore...." I really hoped that would satisfy him but also playing devils advocate knew he'd probably response with, "But Mom, when I fight with my friends, you tell us we need to get along."
Thankfully, he started splashing around happily and asked if I saw the big wave he had made with his hand. I gleefully said "yes dude- that was awesome! Do it again!"
Takeaway: Take a deep breath when you feel caught off guard. Be sure to chose your words carefully! If possible, come up with a common, age appropriate response with your ex. Children don't and shouldn't need to hear details. They need to be reminded that they are loved!